When a diver dies
Experiencing loss and bereavement after a fatal event in scuba diving
Something to consider
Losing a friend, buddy or family member
If the diver, or divers, who died were people you were close to, then it is likely that you will experience bereavement. People go through bereavement in a range of ways. Grief is the natural emotion we feel when something or someone is taken from us. We also talk about grieving as a process, one that brings up many other intense emotions, such as guilt, anger, shame, sadness and despair. Also numbness, because sometimes the emotions are so painful that they trigger protective disconnection from feelings.
In short, whatever you are feeling is understandable as a reaction to loss.
Following bereavement, people tend to go through some common stages. These are not always in the same order for everyone:
It is tempting to focus on "getting over" the loss or attempting to "get rid" of painful feelings. However, when someone who matters to you dies, it will hurt. The emotions experienced are natural reactions to that loss. Focus on self-care, rest and connection to other people, pets and/or nature as ways to support yourself through grief.
You can find more information about grief and bereavement on the Mind website.
The organisations listed are mainly UK-based. If you are outwith the UK, consider similar support services.
Consult your doctor (GP) for local bereavement support and counselling services.
Bereavement counselling is offered by a range of private providers and may be an option if you are able to self-fund. If you have health insurance, contact your provider to discuss what is available.
Cruse is a UK charity that provides a helpline (0808 808 1677) and support for people who are going through bereavement. Go to cruse.org.uk for details and more tips.
Consider peer support services, where people from the same community or going through similar issues support each other. At the time of writing, I am not aware of such networks in the diving community. Consider asking your agency or club for options.
Different processes
Losing a loved-one unexpectedly as the result of an accident or incident may be in itself traumatic. If you were also present at the scene, then it's likely that you also witnessed a highly distressing event. Perhaps your own life was also threatened at some point in the event, or you yourself were injured. It may be that you are at risk of post-traumatic stress or other trauma-related conditions.
Remember that trauma, while it often goes with bereavement, is a different aspect of the experience. Often, trauma and grief can get locked in together and cause a person to be "stuck": unable to heal from the trauma and move into grieving. This is known as complicated or delayed grief. Although grief in the face of loss is unavoidable, there is a lot we can do to support the recovery from trauma.
Police Investigations and Charges
When the diver was not known to you